


one day you will win over god

by trepidtorrent



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Feel-good ending, M/M, Oikawa Tooru-centric, oikawa is insecure but works through it anyways, oikawa tooru feels the ugly things, oikawa tooru is really just working on his issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:13:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25176694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trepidtorrent/pseuds/trepidtorrent
Summary: Oikawa Tooru had never pissed his pants over anything (ok—maybe that one filipino movie Iwa-chan had drilled into his tv on the fateful day of the Seijoh overnight but he digresses). Then enter Kageyama Tobio.tl; dr: Oikawa Tooru discovers Kageyama Tobio's existence, and the sheer amount of talent the kid has terrifies him to no end—he is intoxicated.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 9
Kudos: 50





	one day you will win over god

**Author's Note:**

> hi it is joy again! i wrote this on a whim at 3 am and not on the toilet for a change!

Learning about Kageyama Tobio was another literal embodiment of that feeling you get when you find a cryptic piece of paper just lying somewhere on some street. Diving further felt like finding out the paper has a map lazily drawn on it, and now it's 2 AM and you just can't stop thinking about it. Where the fuck did it come from? Where does it go? What is it for? Will you find a pot of gold coins where 'x' marks the spot?

Then when you learn a little bit more you discover that learning about him isn't finding a pot of gold coins where a faint 'x' is etched on a century year old tree. When you learn a little bit more you discover instead the absolute storm that is this genius, and when you get swept away by that storm you'll be dying to get away, except that the eye of the storm will always pull you in, and you will always let it drag you away. Your cheeks are flushed and you're tired and your heart is pounding on your chest with the force of a supernova collapsing on itself. You're excited. Scared. Amazed. Whatever. You're a tiny storm about to be eaten by this monstrous swirling wind breaking everything it passes. You hate it _so_ much. It's _so_ thrilling.

When you learn a little bit more about this kid with bruised knees and a runny nose you discover that this might single-handedly be the most alluring thing you've ever seen that you've never wanted anything more than to keep it in your pocket so bad, but at the same time loathe it with maybe three-fourths of your entire being. Okay maybe four-fifths. Or seven-eighths. Fuck math. You loathe him a lot. He's the light at the end of the tunnel except that he occupies space and takes volume and blinds the fuck out of your eyes. You want to catch the hem of his shirt when his back is on you and he's walking away.

_Well fuck._

  
  


_** Oikawa Tooru is a moth. Stupid. ** _

  
  


Life as a normal student had never sounded so enticing to Oikawa before, more so an alternate universe where he has never known or has never even heard about Kageyama Tobio. Or an existence where he had nothing to do with volleyball. Maybe then he could look at Tobio and see a mere boy two or three years younger than him, and not see the raging storm of talent and potential that's bound to swallow him up every second the boy is allowed to stay on the court and he isn't.

Maybe then he could look at Tobio and see a kid just as lost as he is, and maybe he could catch a glimpse of him with the sun shining down on his ebony hair and maybe fall in untainted love a little. Maybe a little more. Maybe a lot more. Maybe fall completely face-down in a ditch like he already has but without the nagging feeling of envy eating him up alive inside out. Maybe he could, on another day, on another time.

Today however, Oikawa Tooru gets up to do his daily jog at 4 AM around the neighbourhood. Around 4:30 AM he spends around ten minutes silently watching the dew drops drip down from the sidewalk bushes (Iwaizumi calls him out for being such a weirdo sometimes but the boy's having a moment, you know). At 5 AM he's done a full round, and he sits down on the front porch of his house. Today, as with the entirety of his days ever since he had learned of Kageyama Tobio, his mind wanders to him and his heart aches with some kind of pain he can't name as the sun rises and swallows the sky with all its brightness.

Oikawa Tooru makes some vague stupid realization at the crack of dawn. You are not the protagonist of the world. Which hole of his body he pulled that from, he doesn't know. You are a speck of dust floating around the universe, harboring ill feelings towards another speck of dust floating some feet higher than you. Some poor clump of grass just living their life gets uprooted at the hands of a ~~hurting~~ pissed human, and gets thrown away without a care.

When the human gets to school, he actively avoids Kageyama Tobio for the whole day (not to say that he wouldn't do it for a week, because he would, he just couldn't). The boy doesn't know what he did wrong. Maybe he never will. Oikawa Tooru sure as hell wouldn't say it directly to his face, or to anyone for that matter. Until then everything's just suspended in motion until he's able to look at Tobio and see Tobio, not an ugly reflection of his immobilizing fear of failure staring straight right back at him in a physical form. Until then Oikawa Tooru is stuck in grimey, gross tar, until he unlearns his ugly habit of having one foot out of the door for quite literally anything so that he can use both feet to make his way out of his own personal shithole.

This is fine. Several days from now, or maybe in week's time, or maybe a month, or maybe even a year, Oikawa Tooru will stand up and bare his teeth at the higher universal forces that exist (he still wouldn't know if there even are any, but he yells at the sky anyway). Oikawa Tooru will fight God with years of practice, dozens of knee braces, some broken bones and violet bruises, and he will win. After which he will then proceed to spit on God. He doesn't know it yet, but he will do all these things. He is a prideful one, after all. Even when his pride is a fragile thing and Kageyama Tobio has unknowingly walked all over it until it is merely rags on the floor, or when Ushijima from Shiratorizawa tears away from it and tries to throw plastic diamonds and cheap gluesticks at it only to pierce it and tear it more, he holds onto it. 

Then finally, when he is standing on God's back and his feet's arch fit perfectly into place on top of God's back, he'll look at Kageyama Tobio again. Storms won't faze him anymore. He'll look as many times as he can to make up for all the times he couldn't. He'll look at Kageyama Tobio on the court, on the bench, and in front of him no matter the distance. He'll look at Kageyama Tobio when they meet on a quaint Sunday afternoon in the park, and he'll take in the way the sunlight falls on Tobio's hair and the way his adorable junior will clasp his hands in front of him and bow a little out of respect and politeness for a senior.

They'll exchange phone numbers, talk about things, and part ways. Oikawa Tooru will then learn even more about him. He'll learn the deep blue ocean that is Kageyama Tobio, a mere boy two or three years younger than him. Then maybe, they'll fall in love with each other a little more in bare skin.

**Author's Note:**

> hello i hope u enjoyed it! 
> 
> as usual u can scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/toorundoru) or drop something in my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/suburbianchrist) <3


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